Growing up and bullying

When i was younger i couldn’t wait to get older. It seemed so fun hanging out with friends whenever you want, staying out late and going to parties. As i got older these things did happen but they didn’t seem as cool as it was when i was younger. Sometimes when my birthday roles around i do wish that i was a kid again and all my worries and problems wouldn’t be a big deal and i could just live and have fun like it used to be.

I know growing up happens whether we like it or not and over time we become more mature (well most people do) and tend to look back at the fun times or bad times we had as a kid. Then that part of the conversation comes up when you wish that if you had the knowledge you had now would make things back then better and how much you would things differently. Yeah that is a good idea and all but if those mistakes were never made and the decisions you made back then were changed then you wouldn’t be the same person you are now. Yea i would love to change some things that happened in my past or take up on opportunities i passed but i might be in a whole different place and the good things happening in my life now wouldn’t have happened. My past made me a better person, it showed me what was right and what was wrong. I gained a lot of knowledge and common sense. Yea it wasn’t all that easy and i dealt with a lot but now i am a stronger person because of it all. Hopefully when i’m forty and look back at my twenties i can say i had fun and learned a lot and overall it made me even a better person than i was back then. By then i plan on being rich and just chillen on the new yacht i just purchased or maybe still watching Harry Potter at my house every weekend with people who also like Harry Potter.

I remember having a conversation with someone about bullying. As we were talking he starts saying “Bullying happens to everyone” and continues on some really stupid thing about how its not really a big deal. I was really shocked when that person said that and i thought 1) that is some really ignorant shit to say and 2) that is something someone who bullies or has bullied people would say and not give two shits about doing it. Bullying does happen to a lot of people and for all different reasons, I myself have been bullied before. When i was bullied it sucked, i never knew why these people thought it was a good idea to bully me and how no one did anything about it. After it ended and i started moving on i did realize one thing about that whole thing. That people that did bully me aren’t and haven’t amount to anything and they never will. One of them actually delivered my pizza once and i just laughed. These people were suppose to be the cool kids and they were all that and a bad of chips but now that they graduated and life has hit them they won’t do anything productive for themselves and i’m ok with that.

Bullying has gotten even worse due to social media. Ill check news websites or just read the paper and ill see kids getting arrested for cyber bullying. Which is great and people should see consequences for their actions but i never truly understood why people want to bully someone else. People who bully others, all they are doing is really hurting someone in the long run. That will have a lasting effect on someone, yes there are people that forgive the people that bullied them and have moved on from it. Other times people don’t ever forget and decide to take action and end it right then and there. Which leads to school shootings, you see events like Virginia Tech or Columbine because of bullying. There are tons of more shootings across the country and even the world because of someone getting tired of being bullied. It is sad because they feel that they can’t turn to anyone or that even if they did it wouldn’t change anything or whatever the reason maybe. No one should be put through hell enough to want to take your own life or take the lives of others. Hopefully soon people and schools realize that it is a problem and it isn’t kids being kids or boys being boys or girls being girls. Make bullying come to the fore front and show that it is a serious problem that has to be dealt with so no more lives are affected by it.

I will be in the tree fort if anyone is looking for me.

Change (not the money kind) and social media.

Before i get to the main topic of this post i just want to say thank you to everyone who follows me and also reads/likes my post. I didn’t think anyone would actually read what i have typed on here. i figured it would just be a friend or two but seeing a good amount of people liking my posts and following my blog is amazing. Hopefully i can keep you all interested for many more posts.

Everyone deals with change. No, not the change in your pocket even though money is nice to have when you need it. I am talking about the other kind of change. For me personally change has been that person you know but aren’t the biggest fan of. You will say hi to them but you don’t really want to. That is how i see change, sometimes i see it way to much other times i don’t see it at all. I have moved tons of times, gone to different schools, met different people, lived with different people. The list can go on for a long time, but change is a good and a bad thing depending on what is changing. If your moving to a new town and getting to experience a whole new atmosphere then your used to then change can be new and interesting. On the other hand change can be a asshole and really mess up how things are going like a death in the family or losing a job. In the long run it is a learning experience and can make you a better person. Just depends on how you adapt to it.

After these three more weeks of resting my foot because the fracture i caused hopefully i can make some changes myself. I have a solid blueprint of things i need to get done and want to be different once my walking is back at 100% or even 90%. For an example to get my license. I know what you may be thinking twenty years old and not even a license? Well due to certain maturity levels and other bad excuses i still do not have my license. Since i do have this free time i do have time to study and get mentally prepared for it but in the state of Connecticut (which i live in, but that is obvious since i am talking about it. Sorry i  am not a very smart person sometimes. It happens, as you are seeing it now.) to get your license you need a adult permit then wait three months then be able to take the test to get your license. There are other things i am working on but those will be surprises which i will talk about after a certain amount of time and completion.

I remember back in summer of 2008 and all my friends were hanging out and getting new computers, all i heard about was facebook and twitter. I didn’t know what either of those sites were because i didn’t have a computer and i was moving to a different city to live with my father. When i started high school they provided me and all the other students with tablets so we can do school work at home and in school. That was when i started using facebook and twitter little did i know how popular and crazy these sites would be.

My issue with social media is how people are so invested into them. You could be driving and i bet you will see a minimum ten people either driving while texting, talking on their phone or even on their phone at a red light. It has taken over people’s lives. In person interaction has taken a back seat, nowadays if you want to talk to someone you could just text them or message them on facebook then talking to them on the phone and seeing them in person. I remember when i was younger before all these smartphones were coming out and all kids had were landlines. If you wanted to talk to someone you either had to call them, see them in person or talk to them on IM. Those were the days when social media wasn’t all that big and really all i had was Myspace (which is so much cooler then facebook or any other sites to be honest.) Hopefully one day there can be a way when people don’t need their phones 24/7 and wont be endangering their lives while driving just so they can see what is happening on instagram.

As i sit and wait till technology gets more advanced i will be in my tree fort playing Nintendo 64 and playing Pokemon stadium 2.

Damn you educational system.

I posted a video on youtube which is a shorter version of this post and if you want to watch it here is the link

So yesterday my dad and i were talking about school and what we liked and disliked about all of it. For me school was never fun and a waste of time. I say this because sitting in a class for eighty-eight minutes (my high school is different, four classes a day, eighty eight minutes.) so we covered a lot more then average forty-five minute classes but most of the time it was just really boring and i just wanted to walk out every time. I know most or maybe even all high school kids feel or felt the same way because they rather be home or hanging out with friends then being in school. My whole point was being that school is trying to prepare you for the next year when you get to high school it is suppose to prepare you for college. Which at least for me that wasn’t the case. It was always just about college, college and oh yeah college. Never about right now and learning these lessons now. So i always felt that people were more concerned about college then actually teaching so the students can understand what is going on. I am not trying to bash any teacher, or students or guidance counselors but when they say they are trying to prepare us for the future truly they’re not. You don’t learn anything about how to get a used car or anything about taxes or managing money or how to live on budget. Thing most kids in college do when the time comes. Yes i know you have parents to help you with all of that but what if your parent work all the time and don’t have the time to be there for you? That is when school should come in but sadly it does not.

I know this may seem like i’m complaining about school but i’m not. This whole educational system doesn’t really prepare you for anything. They make kids take all these required classes that for the most part they won’t remember after they graduate. If school was more focused on what kids will do after high school like getting a job, getting their own car, moving on their own, opening a bank account, taxes or even helped students prepare for life and help them get better at what they love. So if they love history they should be able to take history classes that go more in depth into history and don’t use the textbooks that a good amount of the time aren’t even true. Or even something with art or music or writing, for the students to decide what their passion is and get better at it. This whole you need to learn about science and history and math and english is crazy. Most of the time most of the science, history, math and english you don’t use or care enough to remember.

For most of my life i was raised by my mother. My parents got divorced so for seven years i lived with her and who ever she was dating at the time. She always made it clear to me that college is so important and how i have to go to college. So when i go to school it was always about college, never about now. Every year was the same routine. So when i got to high school i really wasn’t all that prepared (this was when i moved in with my father.) I also didn’t care because i knew that when i graduated most of what was taught to me it won’t matter 5-10 years down the line. My grades were bad, i’m not a dumb kid i just didn’t try. I just got so tried hearing of college this or college that, that it blew my mind how no one cared about now. Learning now. Always about the future, which is something you should think about but shouldn’t be focused on one thing but on everything. As of right now i am in community college. Trying to get better at writing because that is something i am passionate about. If i get a degree that’s cool but if i don’t then that is cool to.

I don’t want people to think i’m against going to college or anything like that. I know it may seem like that because most of what i talked about was college. It was just my experience in school. My whole point is that we take these classes all our lives for what? To learn about things we don’t have interest in or even remember a year from then? School should be a place where you can take what you love and get better at it or help find something you are interested in. Help you for the future and be able to help you get ready for being an adult. Helping you have a better life and help you gain knowledge.

I have a question for you the reader. How was your high school/college experience? If you could change anything about education and what kids learn what would it be?

Until next time i will be in my tree fort just watching TV and relaxing because every once and a while it is just nice to take a breather.

Positivity and Happiness.

One chance, one life and one time to do what we love with who we love and then it’s over. Life is such an interesting/weird/confusing concept to be honest. Some people can define life and what life means but at the end of the day no one truly know what life is. I see life as this moment in time where we are able to experience happiness and experience sadness. Some can be experience triumph while others experience pain. Which is why i try and stay positive about life and everything that happens because of it. If negativity is always in your life and you doubt yourself and let that negativity get to you then life is going to suck and just be full of sad and painful situations. When you are positive in life others around you feed off of that and they will become more positive then their family and friends feed off that positivity and that leads to a whole chain of people being positive and having happier days. It should be this easy, at the end of the day i know it isn’t. Sometimes life can get so shitty that it’s hard to stay positive. You can feel so low and nothing can go right no matter how hard you work or how hard you try and move forward. At the end of day if you keep working hard and keep trying your best do better for yourself or even for the others around you it pays off. It may not seem like it, but it does.

I wish this planet Earth was full of happiness and people loving each other for who they are. We all know it isn’t like that. To be honest it will never be like that. Life has death, lies, pain, sorrow, etc. We all know, every person whether rich or poor deals with these things. The most important thing we all must do from all these emotions and hard times in our lives is to grow. Learn from what bad things have happened and be a better person because of it. Life only gives us one shot, one chance to do right and live how we want. So no matter what happens, whether it be good or bad, try and keep trying to keep your head held high, have people who love you and support you and find the treasure at the end of the hunt. If you do then life becomes that much sweeter my victorious friend.

Now that i have finished  i will be in the tree fort just hanging out.

Seeking attention and insecurities

I remember starting my first day of 5th grade, i was new to the school and i didn’t know anybody. When i walked into the classroom every kid in the class was just staring at me probably trying to figure out who i was. It was very intense and that was when i realized that being the center of attention wasn’t for me. This is a reason why i don’t understand people who love being the center of attention or do their best to try to be. Yeah sometimes it is nice to have the spotlight especially if you are being recognized for something you have worked really hard on or won something of some sort. If your just trying to be the center of attention for no reason at all besides you love the attention then people most likely (in my opinion) will not spend much time with you and maybe even ignore you because all your trying to do is be in the spotlight.

Something i don’t understand about people is when let’s say it’s you and a bunch of your friends hanging out and you have that one friend that tries to put all their attention into that one friend and even when that friend is talking to someone else they try their hardest just for that friend to answer them and take them away from the person they were talking to. (I am not trying to sound like i’m jealous, because i personally don’t think i am that kind of person to get jealous.) It bothers me because you can see “Michael” talking to someone else about (insert topic here) and “Tony” is trying to get Michael’s attention when you clearly see him talking to someone else, it’s very rude and just so inconsiderate of other people. I have been in situations like this before and it happens all the time and it blows my mind how people keep doing this with no care.

The whole point of that is that if you are the kind of person that goes out and tries to seek attention or try to get a single person’s attention while that person is doing something else don’t. Having the attention toward you has it’s perks but there are better things out there to do. If more people just dealt with sharing that attention with others then things would be better for you and the others around you.

All of that leads me to my next topic at hand, insecurities. Everyone has their own insecurities, some may hate their big toe and never wear sandals, while others don’t like how they look. Whatever it is, no matter what it is most people try and hide their insecurities because they don’t want other people seeing it or feel like they are judging you. I have insecurities myself, i don’t like how i look in most clothes and when i’m around a lot of people i don’t know i get really weird and just want to leave. I don’t really address my insecurities with other people or anyone in fact because i try and avoid those talks with people about trying to make me feel better and such. Me doing this is something out of my comfort zone. You are lucky i like you.

At the same time i think people including myself should accept their insecurities. They should be considered more of a positive thing then negative. It is something about you that makes you different then the next person. Everyone is different and everyone has different likes and dislikes about themselves. If more people embraced them more then people would be a lot happier and you wouldn’t see some people get bullied over them. (Bullying is a whole other topic.) Since we live on this water filled planet called Earth people take advantage of people due to their insecurities and judge people because of them. JUST LOVE YOURSELF AND WHEN YOU DO OTHERS WILL AS WELL AND IF THEY DON”T THEN THEY CAN KICK ROCKS!

Hopefully people learned a little bit today from lessons from John. As long as you love yourself and just do you then today can be that much better. We all know that today could be the last. So embrace everything about yourself whether it looks weird or not. When you start loving you as a whole so will everyone else. On that note my tree fort just paged me, she misses me and i can’t keep my love waiting.

Advice for kids in high school

Everyone has to deal with high school. I know that for some kids high school is the worst time in their lives while others have a great time and miss being in high school. My high school experience would be in the middle of those two. It wasn’t bad but not all the great either. It is that time in life where people try to find themselves, figure out who their friends are and dating/sex is a big deal. In the grand scheme of things high school is just small part of your life but it does leave a lasting effect.

I remember being a child and wanting to grow up and go to high school. Going to parties, hanging out with friends, skipping class, going to class trips to other countries. Sounds fun doesn’t it? When i got to high school it wasn’t as fun as i thought it would be. Teachers sometimes can be pretty shitty, classmates can be assholes and overall life in high school is rough. My advice for anyone who is in high school or entering is this: just take everything a day at a time. If you try to hard to think about what college to apply and making your transcript look nice and other things it is only going to stress you out and make your four years rough. Yes your future is important and trying to get in college is good but there are times when getting into the best college and getting some degree that won’t help or mean anything isn’t worth the trouble. Your young, be young. Make mistakes, make memories, have fun! Its a time in life where you can get away with things you can’t when your in college struggling for money and eating ramen every night.

Most kids in high school want to date. You want to go see a movie with that cute girl/boy in your math class. Make out during the movie and tell your friends and cant wait to see them in school the next day. Some kids fall in love easily and then get crushed if that person stops talking to them all together or doesn’t want to go on a second date. Dating is fun, just be careful about having sex and don’t rush into something like that. It is your first time and it should be with someone you really like and feel your first time should be with this person.

Grades. Very important thing in school, yeah homework can be a bitch and projects are shitty but do it. I know checking facebook and twitter and tumblr is a lot more interesting then writing a report about Hamlet. As long as you get your shit done then life is that much easier. I know at my high school we got laptops and doing homework and projects go on a the back burner when you are in class playing games and messaging friends that are across the school. My grades were shit, my overall GPA in school was 1.8. I don’t know how i even graduated but i did. YAY!!!! DO YOUR SCHOOL WORK IT MAY NOT BE FUN OR IMPORTANT TO YOU BUT JUST DO IT, IT WILL MAKE YOU A LITTLE HAPPY, YOUR TEACHERS WILL NOT BE ON YOUR ASS 24/7 AND YOUR PARENTS WONT BE ON YOUR ASS EITHER 0R LEGAL GUARDIAN OR WHOEVER CARES ABOUT YOU!!!! JUST FUCKING DO IT!!!!!

In all honesty high school can either be fun, the worst fours years of your life or somewhere in between. Try and make the most of it, because after high school the real world is your new friend and he can be a douchebag for a long time and no one wants that now. Just have fun, meet new people, go out get a girlfriend or boyfriend, party (with soda and water no drugs!!, well most kids start smoking weed and drinking but i mean if that is your thing.) and have fun. Your a kid. Be a kid. Make mistakes, get yelled at. Well maybe don’t get yelled at because that could just ruin your day. All i’m trying to say is be yourself, don’t let high school change who you are. No one likes a fake friend, all people want is the real you and if they don’t then they can go and kick rocks.

So since now i’m going to look back at my yearbook and cry and think of all the memories and friends i made in high school and lay down and weep because i’m old and have a job and college and other real world problems. I will just be in my tree fort watching kids TV shows and movies so i can feel young again.

Handling money, religion, learning new things

After my parents got divorced money became very distant. My parents (wont name which one) wasn’t good with money so we struggled a lot. We moved a lot and i had to see bills not being paid, struggling just to get something to eat and even taking whatever money i had without even asking for god knows what. I learned how not to deal with money, so now that i have a job i have my own money. No one is taking it from me, i buy what i want when i want. I have to work on saving my money. Since i’m so used to not having money i tend to spend more then i would like. Yeah it is always nice to spend money on yourself when you want some clothes or go to dinner with some friends but making that a everything day thing isn’t all that great when money isn’t always there. Now that i don’t work because of my “disastrous” foot injury i’m not making any money. Whatever money i have has to be saved (which should be done anyway, it is always good to save your money.) so i still have money when i come back to work. This was a nice reality check for me honestly, making money every week and spending it on things i truly don’t need when i should be saving it. Yes i know i should of done it when i first got my job but as you can see from this post that is a little to late so might as well start now right? RIGHT!! Hopefully whoever is reading this learns something. Save, Save and oh right save. Saving your money is such a great thing because one day you could look in your bank account seeing thousands of dollars that you earned and it makes you feel like a big baller shot caller.

Religion, this is one of the most controversial topics in the entire universe. People argue all the time all over the world about religion. Especially about if God is real or not. Honestly i believe no one knows truly if he/she is real. None us were there when Jesus was “alive” so i can’t sit here and 100% believe that he is real. When you think about how the earth came to be and how all these crazy technologies and other amazing advances have happened it does make me think. Then it’s like maybe he/she or whatever God is real. I don’t think i’ll ever know if Jesus or god was real or not. What does bother me a lot about religion is when people try and force you to believe in what they do. Everyone has a choice, so if they want to believe in God or not that is their choice and no one should be forcing anyone to do follow a certain god and read certain books and other things. Especially when i see people in New York or other cities and they are yelling at people because they are gay and how much their love is a sin and trying to convince people to follow their ways. You’re an asshole if you do something like that, i mean if you had people come to your neighborhood and churches and walk around with God isn’t real signs and religion is bullshit signs people would lose their minds but since they can say gay is sin and fags shouldn’t be married it’s ok for them to do it. Which it is not. For your information sir or madam.

The most interesting thing about religion is what it does for people. You will see people hit rock bottom and go through some life changing stuff then find their faith and it makes them a better person. It is amazing, because how much religion has effected them and want to make them a better person and make the people around him/her even better. It shows me that religion isn’t as bad as people make it out to be.

If i had the chance i would love to travel to different countries, experience new cultures and meet all different types of people. Yea i also would love to travel around these United States but after a while there is so much more out there then just 50 states. I would want to travel to Canada, All around Europe, South America, Central America, Africa and everywhere in between. Hopefully before i leave this earth i could say i did so much traveling and opened my eyes, mind and heart to things that people wouldn’t experience on a daily basis. One can dream right?

Besides traveling i want to learn to play the guitar, go to more concerts, read more books and go see a place that isn’t my house or school or work. Learning new things is an amazing apart of being alive. You have this chance to experience new things and make memories that will last until you die. Learning new things doesn’t necessarily have to involve traveling somewhere or spending tons of money, you could do it at home. Read a new book, watch a movie you always wanted to watch or maybe learn a new language from online videos. Trying something new is exciting and it keeps life fresh. I wouldn’t want the same routine everyday by going to a job i hate and not doing what makes me happy. Even though that is my life right now. I’m still young i have plenty of time to expand my mind.

Money, religion, learning new things. Some of these things are great while others not so much. Since i don’t have a lot of money, not sure about my faith and aren’t learning new things right now i am going to be in my tree fort if anyone needs me, hopefully not because i do not like being disturbed during my alone time.