Life as it is now and just things in general.

It has been about a month or so since i last wrote a post on this blog. To be honest it has kind of bothered me. I know if it bothered me so much that i could simply just have done more posts than this opening paragraph would be super irrelevant. That is neither here nor there but here we are. These last few months have been interesting for me. There have been up’s, down’s. Pretty much like any other person with any type of problems. The thing with me is i react to my problems differently and in a way that i usually wouldn’t do. Will i go into that at all in this post? No. Sorry.

I started going to therapy about a month ago or so. For the record a lot of people may not know i even go to therapy. Some people thought that things were going great and why need therapy. Well reader of mine that is the exact opposite. What i want people to do who know me in person is nothing. Do not bring up the fact i go to therapy and make a big deal about it or even go to my parents about because they know as well. I go because i feel it helps me not feel so trapped and alone and easy for me to talk to someone when i have had hard times talking about how i feel. If i didn’t go to therapy suicide would be a lot bigger issue than it is now. That is just facts. Also through therapy i am trying to accomplish some things as well but one step at a time. Knowing me if i try to do to many things at once than nothing will get accomplished. I am not going to say what things i am planning on doing because i don’t like talking about things that haven’t happened yet because most of the time when i do whatever i am trying to accomplish never actually gets accomplished. So good luck to myself with that i guess.

Besides therapy talk i did quit my previous job. That was the best decision i have made in years. My previous job brought me so much stress that it was ridiculous. I was employed for two years and it was a interesting two years to say the least. The only thing i got from my previous job was the experience. It helped working there and gaining some management experience working customer service. I do have a better understanding with dealing customers and using a registers simple things like that. Overall i think my time was overdue and if i stayed there any longer i would of gone ape shit. I didn’t mind working at a grocery store but working in a grocery store in a city with people who are rich and think they are better than you is annoying as shit. That is the past and this is the present. To whoever did take the time to read this thank you. It does mean a lot to me that people actually like my posts and continue reading them. I don’t really talk about it a lot but thank you. This was just an update on somethings that i have been doing/dealing with/handling/whatever these past few months. Be on the look out for some more posts this week. If you need me ill be in the tree fort. It has been some time since i been in there. It really needs some good cleaning and a slight makeover.

I am in a loving relationship with my flip phone.

For the last ten minutes or so i have been looking at my phone. Truly there isn’t much to look at because it’s a flip phone but it got me thinking. Thinking about how cell phones changed how we interact with others, go about our daily lives and how much time people spend on their phones. There are a few reasons why i don’t have an iPhone or an android:

1) I simply do not care enough to get one. For some people they might not understand why i don’t care so i am going to tell you (i was going to anyway but figured i just make sure). To have a smartphone doesn’t interest me. I have twitter and facebook but i feel that i don’t need a phone to check it or use snapchat and instagram because i would post pictures neither i or the people who follow me actually like. I don’t need to have all these apps that in ten years won’t even be around.

2) I like being different whether it may get me laughed at or not. For most people who find out i still have a flip phone they tend to laugh then ask me questions on why i don’t have one and why i should get one. People who i  guess do not know me whether or not they grill me on not being “up to date” or “girls are going to laugh at you because of that” then that is fine with me. It’s not going to change anything. If it bothers people that much that i have a flip phone then buy me a iPhone or an android and pay for my bill and i will gladly use that phone. If not then keep your two cents because those my friend i have a enough of thank you very much.

3) I personally feel it is a waste of money. Now i am not saying it is a complete waste of money i just think phones of that caliber are a lot of money. You may be thinking “oh you must not have money to pay for those phones” i have money for a nice smartphone. Do not worry about that it is just the fact that i don’t want to spend a few hundred bucks for a phone that isn’t going to be around in a few years. I rather just keep my shitty phone for now and wait till a price drop or a phone that really intrigues me to spend that amount of money. Until that day my flip phone will be around for as long as it is still working.

Last but not least 4) Fuck what you think. Whether or not you like the fact i do have a flip phone or ask me a million and one questions to why i don’t have a better phone or just wanna good laugh go for it. Truly i have zero cares for your opinion, because at the end of the day i am still gonna call the same people, text the same people and use social media and other apps on my computer that i love very dearly as long as i can. I am happy with what technologies i have or do not have. People may have problems with it but sorry you entered the store where we are all out of fucks, sorry try again next time.

This may sound like i am complaining about other people and their opinions. Honestly it is not that, all it is me stating my opinion on others opinions and actions. If i was complaining i have others forms of doing that and i wouldn’t put those concerns on the internet for everyone who has access can see. It is just (as i said before) me stating my opinion on a certain topic some people have different opinions on.

Well its almost 8:30 and i am going to finish texting all my cool friends with my flip phone. YEAH MY PHONE FLIPS OPEN! WHAT DOES YOUR PHONE DO???!!! NOTHING BESIDES HAVE A CASE AROUND IT AND YOU CAN TOUCH THE SCREEN!!! OH YOU ARE SOOOOOOOO COOL!!! Sorry about that it had to be done. I will be in my tree fort if anyone needs me. I do apologize for the screaming that was not intended for you unless you fall into any of these four reasons. You were just being nice enough to read this and got yelled at i am sorry and one day will make it up to you by buying you a nice ice cream of your choice.

No one likes the future. All the cool kids like that past.

Why don’t people like the future? Nostalgia is making millions these last few years. In my opinion stuff about the future isn’t as popular as the past is.

It may just be me but it seems that the past few years nostalgia is pretty popular. It has always been popular because people like buying things from their childhood or watching old shows and movies but for pop culture nostalgia is pretty big. I am not saying there is a problem with this. It may seem like that but that is not what i am leaning towards. It is interesting how things from the past are coming back or at least trying to and making money doing it. For example there is going to be a Mighty Morphin Power Rangers feature film. I myself am a big power rangers fan (if you know even just a little you know this) and it is interesting because seeing all these re-boots and remakes from the past making money and seeing superhero movies based on comics from the past make millions why not try to get on that nostalgia train as well? Another example to where things from the past are coming back, later on this year Pokemon ruby and sapphire are coming back on will be on the 3DS. Now they are coming back as Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire. A lot or most Pokemon fans are pretty excited for it.

You may not be seeing a point here talking about things from the past coming back. Just give it some sentences and you will see where i am going with this.

It is interesting seeing all these things come back from the past. I love my nostalgia and it is great to look at the past but i think we as people do it too much. It just seems that these things from the past come back into the mainstream because it brings people back to a time where he/she had a good time and  i personally think we should start going looking towards the future.

As i get older i see why people tend to go toward the past then the future. The past is something familiar and it is something has happened and fun to look upon while the future is uncertain and anything could happen in the matter of seconds. The future can be scary and uncertain but we should start moving away from the past because it holds us back from doing certain things and may even put a hold on people’s creative process. Movies for example, re-boots and remakes happen a lot. Just taking an already successful idea and changing it a little and reselling it to the public. Music is the same way. Taking older songs and sampling them for new artists or songs and putting a different spin on it and putting it out into the public. The list of things from the past that are used now a days can go on and on. I feel that new ideas should be created and new things should happen. Taking more risks because this idea is different and new and may lead to some cool and interesting things. Yes i myself tend to go back and have all the nostalgia feels but i also try and experience new things so it can expand my mind and maybe even liven up my creativity.

To just sum this whole thing up is that while nostalgia is great and fun at the same time i feel it holds us as a society back. It makes us feel safe and we don’t have to worry about it failing because those ideas and thoughts are already visible and successful while new ideas are more risky and easy to fail because no one knows what can happen next. If those steps to try something new don’t happen or don’t get done then we as people are holding ourselves back because we don’t want to take those risks. Life is full of risks and failures and successes so why not try those things and see what it can lead to. If not then move forward at all?

Talking about nostalgia so much and using it in every sentence i am going to adventure on that train today. Then after sometime with that go and transfer over to the new train that may have issues and faults but with some fine tuning and some solid hard work can turn into something beautiful and majestic. All of this will be occurring in my tree fort by the way so please do not disturb. Thank you.

What i mean when i say “I don’t care”.

If you know well me enough i am sure enough that you will hear these three words a good amount of time come from my mouth. So whenever i get into a conversation they will just throw out the “you don’t care about anything” card. Which is fine but it never works because there is a deeper meaning to those words.

For most of life i tried to work around what others thought of me. I tried to dress a certain way and act a certain way so people would like me. Other peoples opinion effected me more than my own. To be honest i think that is ridiculous, it is because if i don’t care about how i think of myself why would others around me care? It took me years to figure out and now that i am older i care less about what others think but i have my moments where i try a little for some type of likeness and acceptance (that may sound pretty hypocritical but hey i am not perfect). I’m sure i am not the only person like this. I mean in the overall of life caring about other people’s opinions about you or anything involving you shouldn’t matter but at the same time don’t we all want to feel liked and having people feel a positive about you? I think so. Yeah there might be the one girl/guy that is like “i don’t give a shit about anyone’s opinion and i never will, fuck people.” Hey my comrade good for you,  have a good day.

When you are a child you don’t really ever think about what the other kids think about you. You just want to be a kid, play with your toys, have naps and every so often have your friend from class come over and play with your new dolls or actions figures. As you get older most of kids try and fit in, all people want to do is be accepted. When middle school enters a kids life is when things start to change. Those pre-teens start having their opinions judged by other kids in school and will likely be judge because what they like or something involving them. Middle school is a weird time for a kid, after that then its high school and everything changes. High school is where your opinions get tested and you make friendships, dating and all that fun stuff. For some people it’s to try and get others to like them so they can be popular and have that acceptance they seek. It will always be like this, for some people they have a good time in high school and can look back and smile for others and for most people i know high school sucked and they wouldn’t go back because of how shitty it is. School is meant to be place to grow and gain knowledge to prepare you for the future. Truly it isn’t, in my opinion it kind of just seems like a giant popularity contest that involves homework and test/quizzes. My experience was that i don’t care about anything because that was the cool thing to do. Behind the scenes i tried to change myself so people would like me. If i was just myself and learned to like myself as a person then high school would of been a lot better and i would of had a better experience.

What i have learned is that older people don’t care what other people think or say. From what it seems like to me is that older people tend to realize how ridiculous it is to let what someone says about you or their opinion effect you. They are just living, they do what they want and say what they want and if people don’t like it then screw them. Which is good because letting someone effect what you think or feel because their opinion may not be so positive is not ok.

Just to put everything together in a nice solid ending: I don’t care about what people’s opinion on me is because i shouldn’t. I like how i dress, the music i listen to, the movies i watch, the people i hangout with. If people have a problem with that then they can start a blog talking about all of their problems. If i don’t like something about myself then i will change it or adjust it to what i want. In the grand scheme of life opinions are just words put together in a sentence. Their meaning isn’t a worth a cent.

Well it is nice to make a return to my tree fort (i took some time away from my tree house so my bed in my house didn’t feel so lonely.) Now that has passed the tree fort is in full effect. Gosh i love my tree fort.

Equality is for everyone. The problem is not everyone gets it.

I posted a video on YouTube about my opinion on gay marriage and how i feel everyone should be treated equal. If you want to check it out here is the LINK. 

I decided to take some time away just because a lot has been happening in my personal life that i didn’t want it to effect anything on here and say things that shouldn’t be said. Now that things are better and my mind is in a good place it is perfect for me to post once again.

I was having a conversation with a friend and we talked about gay marriage and similar topics. Personally i don’t understand why people judge others for no reason. People will talk about how much being gay/lesbian/bisexual/etc etc is a sin and usually just say “it’s a sin because it’s in the bible”. I haven’t read the bible so i can’t say whether it is true or not but i feel that it’s an excuse just to judge someone because of their differences. I have always been a supporter for the LGBT community. I have also been a supporter for all communities no matter what races, gender, size, or even height someone is. None of the that should really matter at the end of the day. It should matter who this person is and what they bring to the table instead of who they love and what their skin color is.

Even when i was a kid we learned about slavery and the civil rights movement and even the feminist movement and seeing what struggles people had to go through just to be equal because some people didn’t want things to change and disagreed with how things were going. What i feel no one thinks about is the future, i say this because when the people of now eventually die and their kids or even grand-kids get older they will have problems or maybe even the same problems people of today have. Shouldn’t we as people try and make the world just a even a little better so one day our children’s future be better? We should be more understanding and try to make people more equal so lives can be better now and hopefully for the future. So when i see people talk about how much they dislike gay people, black people, asian people, lesbians, etc etc  it truly blows my mind. The people who are judging have not even an idea what these people are like, what their day to day activities are or even what their opinion on topics are. People just generalize and judge just because there aren’t any repercussions for their words. Which their should be, maybe for people to get to know someone who lives a different life. See a week in their world and what people have to go through on a daily basis. I know for some people it wouldn’t change a thing but i hope for other people that would be a light going off and then all the judging and all the hate they bring stops and causes a respect and an understanding of other people.

Maybe one day when i am dead and so is the rest of my generation that people of the future look back in their textbooks and old websites and see how ridiculous people were in my time. That in the future people are more understanding and judge less and have happier lives and people can be who they are and love who they want without their family or friends or even strangers judging them without truly listening to them and giving what they have to say a chance.

I know there are tons and tons of people who support the black community, asian, latin, LGBT and other communities so i don’t want people to think that not a lot of people support others. I am just talking about the people who are ignorant and not giving a chance to see people in a better light then they see people now.

If anyone needs me ill be in my tree fort watching boring commercials on the internet because no matter where we go we can never escape commercials.

Seeking attention and insecurities

I remember starting my first day of 5th grade, i was new to the school and i didn’t know anybody. When i walked into the classroom every kid in the class was just staring at me probably trying to figure out who i was. It was very intense and that was when i realized that being the center of attention wasn’t for me. This is a reason why i don’t understand people who love being the center of attention or do their best to try to be. Yeah sometimes it is nice to have the spotlight especially if you are being recognized for something you have worked really hard on or won something of some sort. If your just trying to be the center of attention for no reason at all besides you love the attention then people most likely (in my opinion) will not spend much time with you and maybe even ignore you because all your trying to do is be in the spotlight.

Something i don’t understand about people is when let’s say it’s you and a bunch of your friends hanging out and you have that one friend that tries to put all their attention into that one friend and even when that friend is talking to someone else they try their hardest just for that friend to answer them and take them away from the person they were talking to. (I am not trying to sound like i’m jealous, because i personally don’t think i am that kind of person to get jealous.) It bothers me because you can see “Michael” talking to someone else about (insert topic here) and “Tony” is trying to get Michael’s attention when you clearly see him talking to someone else, it’s very rude and just so inconsiderate of other people. I have been in situations like this before and it happens all the time and it blows my mind how people keep doing this with no care.

The whole point of that is that if you are the kind of person that goes out and tries to seek attention or try to get a single person’s attention while that person is doing something else don’t. Having the attention toward you has it’s perks but there are better things out there to do. If more people just dealt with sharing that attention with others then things would be better for you and the others around you.

All of that leads me to my next topic at hand, insecurities. Everyone has their own insecurities, some may hate their big toe and never wear sandals, while others don’t like how they look. Whatever it is, no matter what it is most people try and hide their insecurities because they don’t want other people seeing it or feel like they are judging you. I have insecurities myself, i don’t like how i look in most clothes and when i’m around a lot of people i don’t know i get really weird and just want to leave. I don’t really address my insecurities with other people or anyone in fact because i try and avoid those talks with people about trying to make me feel better and such. Me doing this is something out of my comfort zone. You are lucky i like you.

At the same time i think people including myself should accept their insecurities. They should be considered more of a positive thing then negative. It is something about you that makes you different then the next person. Everyone is different and everyone has different likes and dislikes about themselves. If more people embraced them more then people would be a lot happier and you wouldn’t see some people get bullied over them. (Bullying is a whole other topic.) Since we live on this water filled planet called Earth people take advantage of people due to their insecurities and judge people because of them. JUST LOVE YOURSELF AND WHEN YOU DO OTHERS WILL AS WELL AND IF THEY DON”T THEN THEY CAN KICK ROCKS!

Hopefully people learned a little bit today from lessons from John. As long as you love yourself and just do you then today can be that much better. We all know that today could be the last. So embrace everything about yourself whether it looks weird or not. When you start loving you as a whole so will everyone else. On that note my tree fort just paged me, she misses me and i can’t keep my love waiting.

Pet peeve’s, time travel, and heroes

Everyone on this planet has something that pisses them off to a whole other level. For certain people it’s not using coasters but for others it could be using the phone to much. I have pet peeves that may not be as insane as some but at least i think they make some sense for people to understand. First, texting during a movie. I can understand if you are at home and text someone while watching a movie. What bothers me the most is when people text during a movie they spend 11 or more dollars and see it with a friend. To me it just seems really disrespectful to text during a movie while your with a friend. Then to my response why did you spend money on a movie ticket to see a movie your not going to watch? Or go with me to see a movie and not watch it because you would rather text. This pet peeve’s is one of the main reasons i go see movies alone. The second peeve of pet’s is asking me questions. I know that may seem really weird, that i hate being asked questions. I do not hate being asked questions it is just when people try and ask me a million questions all at once. That shit really chaps my hide. When someone does that to me it makes me feel like i’m being interrogated for a murder or something of that nature.

People will always have pet peeve’s whether they like it or not. Some have insane and impractical pet peeves while others have average and other types of general pet peeves. Either way people get pissed off by other people. Isn’t this the back bone of the world?? It makes the world go round. Stupid people pissing off other people because they do or say stupid things. Could be worse.

Oh time travel is something i wish was real. Secretly i believe it is, i know that may seem impossible but anything is possible. I do not know any government secrets but there is a possibility that time travel is real and only the government controls it so it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands. Maybe i have been watching to many time travel movies?? I don’t know, if time travel was real and i had access to it i would go back and see so many moments in history. I wouldn’t change anything because then that would mess up the future and i don’t want to be responsible for that at all then the world hates me and murders me because in the words of Billy Madison “i blew it!”

I blew it....sorry

If time travel was monitored just so people can see events and not change anything then that would be great, but knowing people someone or something is going to ruin it for everyone and mess up the world so some dictator takes over the world and we become permanent slaves. Maybe i should write this down and possibly make a story out of this….i think it could be a bestseller. I certainly would buy it if i saw it in the stores.

As kids get older they like to believe in superheros like Superman or Batman. Look up to athletes in their favorite sports and try their best to be like him/her. I think it is great for someone like a child to look up to someone. It provides hope and gives them motivation to strive and achieve their dreams. As people get older i think they lose their faith in the people they thought were heroes when they were children. There are some people in the spotlight that turn out to be really bad people or end up doing some really bad stuff. There are people out there that are great role models, people that kids and even adults can stand behind and truly appreciate everything they do. I have a hero myself, his name you ask? (I know you didn’t ask. I am sorry.) Jackie Robinson. Every since i was a child i have looked up to him more then anyone else. Even though he died way before i was even born that doesn’t matter to me. He taught me so much, i learned that it doesn’t matter if your black, white, spanish, blue, lavender or teal if you have a dream don’t stop just because some people don’t like you or feel you won’t achieve anything. He did something that changed sports forever, he became the first african american to break the color barrier in major league baseball. Having to play against teams and being in front of fans who threw things at him and called him everything from A-Z. That didn’t stop him from doing what he loved. The best thing about that was that he was good at baseball, it would be different if he wasn’t any good at baseball. He has changed my life for the better and i wish he was still alive so i could have a chance to thank for everything i have learned from him.

Well i am going to be in my tree fort watching 42, thinking about time travel and where i would go first and dealing with people pissing me off because of my pet peeves. Some quiet time won’t kill me. I hope not because then that would be just awkward now wouldn’t it?